When the spinning gets out of control

I like to think I'm a good mom, at least I try. This week however,  I would have to say I am mediocre at best. The boys can get bored of the Sensory Diets in place so every now and then it needs tweaking. The boys have just been spinning out of control. Some days, they are literally spinning out of control, like spin tops, circling and bouncing off of walls and furniture until they fall.  I know this meant they were in need of some new sensory play but honestly, I've been so tired.  I get run down trying to keep up with it so I know I can't blame them. So what do I do for my reality check?

Most importantly, I ground myself. Just like my kids, sometimes I can feel like things are spinning out of control. Kids screaming, jumping, climbing or fighting will do that to you.  Unlike them, my spinning is only in the figurative sense. The best way I ground myself is to breathe. Allow myself to listen and feel each breath. That is honestly the best thing I can do. Once that is completed, I take a good luck at the boys and remind myself the kind of mom they need. Key word, NEED. Parenthood is a stressful job, put a child with special needs into that equation and it's doubly hard. Reminding myself that they need me helps me mentally realign.

Once I am in check, I start making the calls to the Occupational Therapists to get feedback and ideas for the kids. Now I know they haven't been getting enough sensory play but I also know they get bored of doing the same things so I am always looking or asking for new suggestions.  I could beat myself up on how I fail them by not always bringing my A game but what would be the point. They don't need a mom who wallows. They need a mom who gets it done.

Here are the latest suggestions for the boys sensory diets to help calm them down a bit and allow them to feel more grounded.Couldn't we all just be more grounded?

Proprioceptive Activities

When they receive enough sensory play, they are great listeners, attentive and super calm. Getting new suggestions benefits us all as a family.  I do whatever it takes to ensure that all three of my children grow up in a home that is loving and attentive to their needs but sometimes you just need a minute for yourself. It's a struggle and I may take a mental hiatus sometimes of what I need to do but it doesn't last. It can't, my kids need me to much.

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Bells and Alarms

Paired sleeping for comfort

Bedtime in our house is a familiar routine to any other household with kids. You know, that mad frenzy to get the kids fed, washed and clothed for bed. You pray you can get it all done before 9 pm so you can tend to some house chores and maybe get a chance to shower before you crash into bed. It was a night just like so many others of wrestling to get kids down when I found myself thinking back on simpler times that I recalled something about E.

When E was just an infant, he always seemed to prefer to be swaddled for bed. He slept best that way. He seemed to love to be held close or snuggle with his twin sister in the crib. If you put him down alone and unswaddled, he would cry. We thought it was because he was colic. But as he approached the 1 year marker, he liked me to keep my hand on his back while he fell asleep in his crib. Many nights I stood at his crib side, my hand on his back. If I removed my hand he would cry or wake. So back my hand went on his back. I became a pro at alternating hands with out him feeling my switching of hands. It was exhausting. And God forbid his sister would wake, then I just had a cry fest on my hands.

Many times I thought of filling a dish glove with rice to lay on top of him to try and give myself a break. My concern was that some how that could hurt him, so I never did try it. Little did I know that weighted blankets would be in our near future.

Nightly headstands

After the year marker, he liked me to hold his hand or rub his feet. Eventually, he just wanted me in the room with him. He would stand on his head or ram his body against crib. So every night, I lay on the floor with the twins as they fall asleep.  Stopping E from potentially hurting himself. Some nights are more of a struggle then others but it is improving. No more body ramming or headstands since we give him plenty of sensory before bed. Melatonin helps him settle down a lot quicker, as well as a drop of essential oil on his pillow and woobi (security blanket) to help him focus on his breathing.

In any case, I thought back on this time and realized that he was seeking sensory stimulation even way back then. I also made the comparison in my mind in regards to my eldest son. Another sensory seeker from early on as well all though we are just now learning that this is what he too has. E, still loves a good tight hug so long as it's on his terms, loves joint compression, a good pillow squash and is slowly starting to enjoy the brushing. Both my boys do.

Bells and alarms.

I wonder why I didn't put it all together sooner. Was it lack of experience as a mom or denial? Perhaps both. My first son, N, met all his markers on time if not earlier then most kids. And E, my second, did not, so it was easier to notice some potential problems for him. So how did I miss N's sensory issues. Early on I though maybe there was something going on so I had the school evaluate him for potential behavioral problems at two but they thought he was just high energy. But there were signs, the late speech development, the covering of ears, the constant jumping and moving, the slamming his body into yours for hugs, the unexplained outbursts/fits, jumping from high heights, banging his toys down hard. Honestly, his hugs feel like a Mack truck is trying to run you down to the ground. Kisses that squash your face. Anxiety. I mean I should have known something earlier but I just figured because he is so bright that he was quirky. I LOVE quirky. And the professionals were telling me he was okay. My boys are healthy and happy, it's all a mom ever really wants to hear. But I kept pushing for answers.

So now at 5, N has been formally diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and is now receiving Sensory Integration Therapy through Occupational Therapy. An answer and a solution.

Having these diagnosis' for my kids doesn't make life any less challenging but it gives us a great deal of explanation and motivation to get them the help they need to be successful in life. Do I still long for simpler times? Sometimes. But truthfully, they were never REALLY simple. Nothing ever is.

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Building a Strong Team

For the past year, my son was already receiving Early Intervention and we built a team around him that is strong. Here's why I think having a strong team is so important not just for the child but for the entire family. 

Let me first explain Early Intervention. Early intervention includes but is not limited to the following services:

- Provides families with a plan
- Supports services and resources for children that enhance daily opportunities for learning
- Provides visits in settings where a child would be if he/she did not have developmental delay/disabilities "Natural Environment"
- Special instruction/family training/support
- Organizing nursing services, social work services, nutrition services (food therapy)
- Assistive technology devices and services
- Physical therapy (PT)
- Occupational therapy (OT)
- Speech Language Pathology (SLP).

In a nutshell, the Early Interventionist (EI) assists in meeting the needs of the child as well as the needs of the family.

Back in July of 2014, I had my son first evaluated to see if he qualified for Early Intervention through BabyNet (a government organization that helps with special needs children). When I was told that he did qualify for further evaluation. They sent us to another place where I had to fill out some paperwork on him and sit and answer questions regarding his behavior. They sat us in a room, asked him to tend to a few tasks while also doing things around him like blowing bubbles or making noise. Thirty minutes later, we had a starting point. It came back that he might be autistic so we very quickly started the process to get him the help he needed. 

First I lined up his Early Interventionist (E.I.) to assist and support me in getting all the therapies he would need. We chose Carolina Behavior and Beyond because they came with great referrals and the founder has a very personal understanding and relationship with special needs. Through their evaluation, we new he needed Speech Therapy (S.T.), Occupational Therapy (O.T.). Through the BabyNet evaluation we knew he would need ABA Therapy (Applied Behavior Analysis is the application of the principles of learning and motivation from Behavior Analysis.) 

We were fortunate to get his Speech Therapy through Columbia Speaks Speech Therapy in just a few weeks. His ABA through Early Autism Project which took about two months and Occupational Therapy took about three months. Occupational therapy was the hardest to find. One because the surrounding area doesn't have enough Occupational Therapist and two, not enough of the OT's are trained well in Sensory Processing Integration.  His OT started out at Palmetto Health Orthopedic Therapy and all though they tried to help him there, I just didn't feel as though it was working out. He wasn't getting much accomplished. So when the wait list opened up at a new location, I jumped on it and he now deals with SPROUT Pediatrics for Occupational Therapy. Here I feel they are more knowledgable on the subject as they already deal with kids with Autism and or Sensory Processing Disorder on a regular basis as well as having a personal connection. Though I would like to have him receive Food Therapy for his food aversions, I am more focused on getting him talking, attending to his tasks and connecting so I try my best at home on my own but it will come in time.

It was important to me as a mother to know that the team I surrounded my son with are people who truly care about him first. I couldn't be happier now. It isn't perfect (what is?), we have had some bumps in the road but I feel supported and my son has been showing great strides in improving his speech, connection to us and the world around him. It's been only ten months since he has been receiving all of his therapies and he his speaking more and more., Engaging with us and learning more every day. He still has a long way to go but he has a strong team and I am confident he is going to be okay. 

Thanks for following and have a blessed day.

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