Seven, I can’t believe it!

Lucky Seventh Birthday-🎂🎂👧👦

I want to say that yesterday was an easy day and all went perfect. That there was no fighting, arguing or refereeing. I’d like to tell you that but I can’t. What I can tell you is that my kids had a great day. It was their birthday. They are officially 7 years old. Seven. I can’t believe it.

We have come so far in the last seven years. When they were born, I recall how worried I was for them in the NICU, praying on when I could take them home. Now, I look at them and though I still worry about them, they have come so far, strong and confident kids. 

Together they have taken leaps and bounds, plus a few falls along the way too.  I see how they encourage one another and how they use their “Spidie twin” senses and come to one another for comfort, support or to just check in. To show growth, this was the first time my son didn’t bite into the cake this year before us serving him a slice.

My husband and I are grateful for family and friends that reached out with special messages of love and celebration. Additional thanks to those of you that sent gifts even when we said you didn’t have to. (When I say “we” I mean me because they would never say that.) It made the day all the more special for them. Plus, they made out like bandits this year. COVID-19 birthday guilt I guess. 

No party, no problem. We zoomed family and friends in for cake time. For the kids, it felt like we were all really present. Yes, the singing was out of tune and delayed (Oh wait, that’s typical for us)  but the true meaning of it all was there...a celebration of life. Two lives in this case.

My wish would have been that my parents could have been with us in person. Not going to get many more birthdays with my dad. I hate to say it, to even think it, but it is true. To them, it was like having them in the room, so I guess that counts for something.

You can see the far stare that my son has. He has had some challenging times that he is working through. We all are doing our best to help and love him through it. He may not be smiling as often these days, but I promise, we are doing are absolute best to get to the other side of ALL of this to see him smile regularly again. For now, his sister has his back. Literally. 

Thank you all for you best wishes. It was just what they needed to boost their spirits during this difficult time at home. Please leave me a comment and let me know how you are sharing time with your family. We would love to hear from you. 

I pray you all are staying safe and making the best of this time together.

We are blessed for sure!

With love and dedication anything is possible!

A question about Autism

My daughter came up to me today and asked me a question. I was kind of taken off guard when she asked me this question and honestly at the moment, I didn't know how to respond to her. I didn't imagine that at four years old she would be asking me this already. I thought maybe I had at least two years before we dove into this. She asked me "Mama, why does Ethan always have to have the autism?"

We have had her watch Sesame Street's introduction of the new character Julia,  that has Autism. So she does know that E and N have Autism. She seemed to understand it, asked some questions and she seemed content with my answers. So it seems now, she has more.  I took a deep breath, took a moment to think about my answer and came up with this.

"Well, you see Pudding Bear (nickname), that's just the way God made him. It's not a bad thing, it's just the way he is."

She then told me "but I want him to be just like me." Hearing this kind of made me sad. Sure things would be easier if E didn't have Autism but I wouldn't trade him for anything. To me, he is perfect.

Then I told her this, "Just because someone isn't like you, doesn't make it a bad thing. Being different is what makes us all special in our own ways. Why don't we treat E like he doesn't have Autism. Treat him like you would want any one else to treat you. When you see he's having a tough day and a hard time, show him kindness, care, patience and love. That's all anyone really needs baby." I watched her as she thought about my answer.

She sat there quietly for about a minute, which is a lot for her, shrugged her shoulders and said "okay mama."

Then she walked over to her brother, patted him gently on the head and asked him if he would like her to put a movie on for him. She gave him a kiss on the head, walked away to get the remote and called me over to put his show on. It was a precious moment.

I can't say I handled this expertly and maybe some of my answer didn't compute with her but I am happy with the results. She showed care and compassion to her brother. They don't always get along, most siblings have their days where they just don't get along and parents become referees. With E's temperament, it happens more often then not.  Which is why I think my daughter posed her question, out of exasperation. That said, they have really good days too. Where they tackle one another in hugs and cuddles. Those moments much like how this discussion with my daughter ended are awesome.

We are blessed for sure.

With Love and dedication, anything is possible!

Happy Birthday

Day 2 at hospital

First day home together

First photo shoot

Three years ago today, I gave birth to two very beautiful but early babies. They were born 5 weeks early and weighed in 4.4 lbs and 5. 4 lbs. They were so small, I can still recall how scared I was to bring them home, especially my boy. Seeing them in NICU with all those wires and feeding tubes, I prayed I would be able to bring them home sooner then later. When I was able to bring them home within the week, I was elated. Eight months of doing my best to keep them in but they were finally here and leaving healthy. Prayers answered.

Since that day, we have watched them as they have discovered the world around them, developing what I hope is a life long friendship with their older brother and building a twin bond that is as strong as both their personalities. They fight as much as they do hug and kiss one another. 

Now they are three years old and each showing their own very distinct personalities. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't laugh with the kids. We absolutely love them and though they were a surprise, with many sleepless nights, we also know they are a blessing.  I would change nothing. 

Happy Birthday my babies!  

Mama, Daddy and Nono love you both so much. Thanks for bringing double the love into our lives and filling our hearts exponentially.