He squandered nothing

It's been raining a lot here since you passed which has only made my sadness more so. We bury you today, well, at least they do. I didn't make it back to see you in life and now, not even in death. Six years have past. I regret that you didn't get to see my children. For that I am sorry as I know you deserved more. They ensured me that you will be getting a grand send off, one I know you desired, with honor, dignity and faith.

You who were always so stern but kind to me. You never laid a hand on me, even when I was at my worst nor did you yell at me. Except for when you were trying to help me with math and you never helped me with math again. Sure you were grumpy but I always thought and still do "Isn't that just how old men are?" I always looked past that and always saw who you really were. You laughed with me, sometimes at me, but you laughed. You were caring and affectionate with me, I was one of the lucky ones who got to share moments with you that let me in and see another side of you. I will hold on to that memory. With you sitting on your porch, laughing with great joy and light beaming from your soul. How you would take us out for a morning donut and let us be us, while peaking over your morning paper. You gave us more then you know.

Your life was not always easy you said. That you were young and rebellious. That you had walked away from God and that you were doing everything to win his trust back. You gambled and womanized. You knew you had made mistakes as a husband and as a father. You broke your own promises and regretted those days. You went to War and assured yourself you never would but still felt you had squandered what you once said you wouldn't. Yet you found your way and got back on track.

You will be welcomed in the heavens and I know that you will find all that you lost awaiting you. Wife and son. Your pain and guilt washed away, all forgiven.

Your presence on this earth will be missed. I am grateful for the time I had with you and I pray that you will be there awaiting me when my turn comes. We all felt loved by you. I know I loved you and felt that love always returned. I know you knew this but I feel the world should too.

A great man is being buried today, his soul already lifted to the heavens. A son, a brother, a veteran, a husband, a father, a Grandfather, and a great grandfather who lived life, learned from it, prayed because of it and in the end squandered nothing.

I love you Abuelo! Que Dios te bendiga y nos vemos.

#RIP

End of school year is here

So as the panic sets in and I realize that the school year is coming to an end, I am scrambling to find things for the kids to do while also dealing with the emotional battle of watching my babies grow-up and having to let them do so. I just keep hearing Moana singing in my head,  🎶 Let it goooo...🎶 It's hard but I am trying to do my best to loosen the reigns this summer.

The twins have finished their 4K program and will be moving on next year to KINDERGARTEN. We had hoped that E would be in a typical classroom for kindergarten but he’s just not there yet behaviorally.  Thankfully, he will be following a typical kindergarten program but not participating in one full day.   He will spend part of his day in CC1 classroom and the remainder of his day will be in typical group settings.  It was hard to accept but I know that his teacher and the staff worked really hard with him these past two years.  I can see so much improvement in so much of what he does. He has especially come far with his speech and attention.

Sister E will be going to the same school as eldest brother N next year though she is torn. She loves that she is going to kindergarten and that she will be taking the bus with big brother. However, she feels sad that she won’t be with her “baby brother” E at the playground. She asked me if it was because of the autism (She is so smart) and I said yes. After, she responded with “I hate the autism!” I just didn’t know how to respond other than telling her we would be working extra hard with him so that we can get him back to their school. But if he doesn’t it was okay for them to have separate lives so long as they always made time for each other. She “seemed” okay with that.

Just a note: We have tried to explain to her that she was the last to be born but she still insists that he is the baby. So we just let her call him “Baby Brother” now.  In any case, she will be attending a half-day camp throughout the entire summer which makes us all happy. She can be a bit of a spirited child. 🤣

Truthfully, we will be pushing E this summer to get those ABC’s down, numbers, listening skills and increasing sitting time while reducing his impulsivity. Sadly, there are not nearly enough activities or camps specifically for Autistic children of his age in our area. His teacher teaches camp for two weeks over summer but that’s about all he will be getting. So we will be making the effort to get out more with him and peer play as well. 

Soon N will be completing his school year as well and we look forward to taking him to new places to explore the outdoors. We are seeking to encourage his love of adventure and creatures of all kinds. We promised him that he could pick the places, within reason of course. He wants to go to Africa but that isn’t happening this summer. He dreams big and we love it. I can’t believe he is going into second grade already. Time flies! He is super excited while still expressing some nervousness about what is to come. Lets face it, he's a worrier and it unfortunately is what he does. We just continue to help him through his many fears and worries. He has been doing great and we expect him to continue along this path in the years to come. He will spend the summer taking soccer, zoo camp and hanging out with friends.

We are so proud of our babies and how far they have come. They each are special in their own ways. Though each have their own unique challenges, I wouldn't change my life at all. Okay, maybe I would want a bit more sleep and a lot less laundry but since they are a package deal, I take it all. 

This is going to be a great summer for us all.

We are blessed for sure.

With love and dedication, anything is possible!

I Can’t Hear You

This may sound a bit odd to try but it seems to work really well in my house. When my kids get to loud or in my youngest son's case, starts to yell for everything, especially when frustrated, I just tell them "I can't hear you because you are to loud. Can you speak quietly so Mama can understand what it is you are saying?" And it works! They or he, immediately lowers his voice and tells me whatever he needs quietly and calmly. We aim for days without yelling in the house and we have gone a few days without major screaming matches. Sometimes, all they simply need is a soft reminder of the importance of speaking to be understood, not just heard.  With love and dedication, anything is possible!

Happy New Year

Another year has come and gone with so much to be grateful for. Wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year. May this year be an improvement on the last. Make each moment you spend with your family matter.

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018!!!!

Love to all!
🎆🎉🎊

Autism Island

I absolutely understand where dad, Shane, is coming from when he spoke out on Facebook about his sons forced isolation.  Isn't this just another form of bullying? Maybe, maybe not. Every kid certainly has the right to invite who they want to their own party. But...

My now almost 7 year old son was invited to only one party last year and before that none, other then family functions. No invites for him this year either. Does he think about it? Not really, until he hears the kids talking about a party coming up or one he missed. Then it's an hour long conversation about how there is nothing wrong with him, some kids just don't realize how special he is or that not everyone is meant to get along.  I have seen kids be treated badly because they are  "different". We can't put the blame on children alone, I know that the parents have a lot to do with this. I have seen parents give me looks or directly make comments about my youngest son and MY parenting skills. One woman told me not to bring my son to play dates anymore with his sister. She just felt it was "too much to deal with" for her and that it would be "calmer if he wasn't there". Needless to say, I deleted her number from my phone but only after telling her a few choice words.

Instead of passing judgment, parents should take these opportunities to teach their kids about something outside their own personal box. Different isn't a bad thing. Trust me, I know it is impossible to live in a world where we all get along. Personally, I know I am may not get along with all my neighbors but I am not going to treat them badly because we may see things differently. I will continue to be courteous.  I certainly would never exclude a neighbors child from one of our parties simply because I don't like the parent(s).  I'm not asking that parents force their child to be best friends with mine or have them over all the time. I'm not conducting a social experiment with my kid. It's just a small moment in their lives to show acceptance and understanding amongst their peers rather then being out casted to Autism Island.

Both my boys have the sweetest hearts and our unbelievably loyal, they just happen to have Autism. People that make the choice to exclude them are missing out on a teachable moment for their kids. For themselves as well. Yes, they have difficulty sitting still, they talk too much, too loud, or do not speak at all. Yes, they may not acknowledge you when you address them right away or at all but there are ways to help them participate. Leave it up to us the parents to navigate them through that social experience. They just need to be given the opportunity. You the parents of the "Typical" kids could teach your child kindness, patience and understanding.

Shakespeare wrote "If we’re like you in everything else, we’ll resemble you in that respect." It is simply paraphrasing the Golden Rule but in the story, The Merchant of Venice,  it speaks of the negative aspect of treating others badly and its chain reaction. So I have found that connecting with other like minded parents works best for us. We may not all be best friends either, not all of them have kids with Autism but what they do have are kind and open hearts and their kids share those qualities with mine. Acceptance is a hard thing to find in this world but that falls on us.

In the end, isn't that what we want for all of our kids, to be kind and accepting of others, so that others may be kind and accepting of them, no matter how different they are?


We are blessed for sure.

With love and dedication, anything is possible!



To learn more about The Life of Reilly click the link.

Kudos to Reilly's mom, Christine and especially dad, Shane, for saying what so many of us often feel needs to be said. Keep up the great work in teaching us all.  And to Reilly, who unknowingly is teaching the world with out saying a word.