Another year has come and gone with so much to be grateful for. Wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year. May this year be an improvement on the last. Make each moment you spend with your family matter.
Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018!!!!
Love to all!
🎆🎉🎊
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Tuesday, November 7, 2017
Autism Island
I absolutely understand where dad, Shane, is coming from when he spoke out on Facebook about his sons forced isolation. Isn't this just another form of bullying? Maybe, maybe not. Every kid certainly has the right to invite who they want to their own party. But...
My now almost 7 year old son was invited to only one party last year and before that none, other then family functions. No invites for him this year either. Does he think about it? Not really, until he hears the kids talking about a party coming up or one he missed. Then it's an hour long conversation about how there is nothing wrong with him, some kids just don't realize how special he is or that not everyone is meant to get along. I have seen kids be treated badly because they are "different". We can't put the blame on children alone, I know that the parents have a lot to do with this. I have seen parents give me looks or directly make comments about my youngest son and MY parenting skills. One woman told me not to bring my son to play dates anymore with his sister. She just felt it was "too much to deal with" for her and that it would be "calmer if he wasn't there". Needless to say, I deleted her number from my phone but only after telling her a few choice words.
Instead of passing judgment, parents should take these opportunities to teach their kids about something outside their own personal box. Different isn't a bad thing. Trust me, I know it is impossible to live in a world where we all get along. Personally, I know I am may not get along with all my neighbors but I am not going to treat them badly because we may see things differently. I will continue to be courteous. I certainly would never exclude a neighbors child from one of our parties simply because I don't like the parent(s). I'm not asking that parents force their child to be best friends with mine or have them over all the time. I'm not conducting a social experiment with my kid. It's just a small moment in their lives to show acceptance and understanding amongst their peers rather then being out casted to Autism Island.
Both my boys have the sweetest hearts and our unbelievably loyal, they just happen to have Autism. People that make the choice to exclude them are missing out on a teachable moment for their kids. For themselves as well. Yes, they have difficulty sitting still, they talk too much, too loud, or do not speak at all. Yes, they may not acknowledge you when you address them right away or at all but there are ways to help them participate. Leave it up to us the parents to navigate them through that social experience. They just need to be given the opportunity. You the parents of the "Typical" kids could teach your child kindness, patience and understanding.
Shakespeare wrote "If we’re like you in everything else, we’ll resemble you in that respect." It is simply paraphrasing the Golden Rule but in the story, The Merchant of Venice, it speaks of the negative aspect of treating others badly and its chain reaction. So I have found that connecting with other like minded parents works best for us. We may not all be best friends either, not all of them have kids with Autism but what they do have are kind and open hearts and their kids share those qualities with mine. Acceptance is a hard thing to find in this world but that falls on us.
In the end, isn't that what we want for all of our kids, to be kind and accepting of others, so that others may be kind and accepting of them, no matter how different they are?
We are blessed for sure.
With love and dedication, anything is possible!
To learn more about The Life of Reilly click the link.
Kudos to Reilly's mom, Christine and especially dad, Shane, for saying what so many of us often feel needs to be said. Keep up the great work in teaching us all. And to Reilly, who unknowingly is teaching the world with out saying a word.
My now almost 7 year old son was invited to only one party last year and before that none, other then family functions. No invites for him this year either. Does he think about it? Not really, until he hears the kids talking about a party coming up or one he missed. Then it's an hour long conversation about how there is nothing wrong with him, some kids just don't realize how special he is or that not everyone is meant to get along. I have seen kids be treated badly because they are "different". We can't put the blame on children alone, I know that the parents have a lot to do with this. I have seen parents give me looks or directly make comments about my youngest son and MY parenting skills. One woman told me not to bring my son to play dates anymore with his sister. She just felt it was "too much to deal with" for her and that it would be "calmer if he wasn't there". Needless to say, I deleted her number from my phone but only after telling her a few choice words.
Instead of passing judgment, parents should take these opportunities to teach their kids about something outside their own personal box. Different isn't a bad thing. Trust me, I know it is impossible to live in a world where we all get along. Personally, I know I am may not get along with all my neighbors but I am not going to treat them badly because we may see things differently. I will continue to be courteous. I certainly would never exclude a neighbors child from one of our parties simply because I don't like the parent(s). I'm not asking that parents force their child to be best friends with mine or have them over all the time. I'm not conducting a social experiment with my kid. It's just a small moment in their lives to show acceptance and understanding amongst their peers rather then being out casted to Autism Island.
Both my boys have the sweetest hearts and our unbelievably loyal, they just happen to have Autism. People that make the choice to exclude them are missing out on a teachable moment for their kids. For themselves as well. Yes, they have difficulty sitting still, they talk too much, too loud, or do not speak at all. Yes, they may not acknowledge you when you address them right away or at all but there are ways to help them participate. Leave it up to us the parents to navigate them through that social experience. They just need to be given the opportunity. You the parents of the "Typical" kids could teach your child kindness, patience and understanding.
In the end, isn't that what we want for all of our kids, to be kind and accepting of others, so that others may be kind and accepting of them, no matter how different they are?
We are blessed for sure.
With love and dedication, anything is possible!
To learn more about The Life of Reilly click the link.
Kudos to Reilly's mom, Christine and especially dad, Shane, for saying what so many of us often feel needs to be said. Keep up the great work in teaching us all. And to Reilly, who unknowingly is teaching the world with out saying a word.
Monday, September 4, 2017
A question about Autism
We have had her watch Sesame Street's introduction of the new character Julia, that has Autism. So she does know that E and N have Autism. She seemed to understand it, asked some questions and she seemed content with my answers. So it seems now, she has more. I took a deep breath, took a moment to think about my answer and came up with this.
"Well, you see Pudding Bear (nickname), that's just the way God made him. It's not a bad thing, it's just the way he is."
She then told me "but I want him to be just like me." Hearing this kind of made me sad. Sure things would be easier if E didn't have Autism but I wouldn't trade him for anything. To me, he is perfect.
Then I told her this, "Just because someone isn't like you, doesn't make it a bad thing. Being different is what makes us all special in our own ways. Why don't we treat E like he doesn't have Autism. Treat him like you would want any one else to treat you. When you see he's having a tough day and a hard time, show him kindness, care, patience and love. That's all anyone really needs baby." I watched her as she thought about my answer.
She sat there quietly for about a minute, which is a lot for her, shrugged her shoulders and said "okay mama."
Then she walked over to her brother, patted him gently on the head and asked him if he would like her to put a movie on for him. She gave him a kiss on the head, walked away to get the remote and called me over to put his show on. It was a precious moment.
I can't say I handled this expertly and maybe some of my answer didn't compute with her but I am happy with the results. She showed care and compassion to her brother. They don't always get along, most siblings have their days where they just don't get along and parents become referees. With E's temperament, it happens more often then not. Which is why I think my daughter posed her question, out of exasperation. That said, they have really good days too. Where they tackle one another in hugs and cuddles. Those moments much like how this discussion with my daughter ended are awesome.
We are blessed for sure.
With Love and dedication, anything is possible!
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
Not missing, just misplaced
Just wanted to share this. My son went missing in the house. Since he doesn't always respond to us calling him, it can sometimes be stressful. Since we know he can't get out without an alarm going off or growing another 4 feet to unlock security padlocks, I knew he was somewhere inside house. So really, he was misplaced more then missing. This is what happens when I lost him and here is the strange place where I found him.
Had I only started looking in the places I would least expect to find him, it would have saved me some time.
Once I did find him, he just ignored me and kept on moving on. It was just one of those silent days for him I guess. If he can fit here, I am thinking he may have a career in Cirque du Soleil.
Honestly, I think I will put a cow bell on him. At least when he is hiding I can still hear him. To bad we can't microchip our kids...yet 😜.
With Love and dedication, anything is possible!
Had I only started looking in the places I would least expect to find him, it would have saved me some time.
Once I did find him, he just ignored me and kept on moving on. It was just one of those silent days for him I guess. If he can fit here, I am thinking he may have a career in Cirque du Soleil.
Honestly, I think I will put a cow bell on him. At least when he is hiding I can still hear him. To bad we can't microchip our kids...yet 😜.
With Love and dedication, anything is possible!
Solar Eclipse
The total solar Eclipse was spectacular. Being able to watch it with my children only made that more amazing. I'm so glad the kids got to see it, despite the difficulty of waiting to see it, the constant running away and the worry that someone would damage their eyes by attempting to watch. So it was 75 percent awesome and 25 percent crazy town. We laughed when E said "It's night night time." and then shortly after was super confused when he said "But I didn't get to go to bed."
Still turned out to be pretty great day.
Still turned out to be pretty great day.
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